"Growth is painful,
Change is painful,
But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong"
C-H-A-N-G-E is a 6-letter word, defined as the process or act of becoming different. Different is a 9-letter word, meaning not the same as one another. When something changes, be it a person, place, thing or attitude, it is becoming very different to what it already was. For most people, this is scary.
Change is something that people fear. The clear majority of people will not choose to have something change, especially if they are not in control of the outcome.
Think for a second, what changes have you experienced in your life? Small things change all the time, the weather, the seasons, the clothes you wear, the sports you play, the schedule you use. They all change reasonably regularly and perhaps that is why they don't seem so significant. Most people don't fear the changing season, not in the same way that they fear bigger changes. And most people willingly change their schedule, to better fit their days.
Everyone has a comfort zone, some are smaller than others, but they are all there nonetheless. I think that change scares people because if often brings them out of their comfort zone. My first instinct is always to go to where I am comfortable. Regardless of if something bad or something good happens I feel most comfortable bringing it home to my family or telling my close friends. Your comfort zone can be like your bed on a cold winters morning. You wake up and want nothing less than to get up and leave the nice, warm and comfortable bed.
Change is something that brings people out of this bed, forces them to adjust and find a new position and routine.
We all change all the time. Our experiences, the people who surround us and our values influence who we become and as these things change so do we. We are all very different people to who we were when we were 7. Time has forced us to change, pulling us out of our comfort zone and throwing us into the deep end.
(If you don't want to read about my blogging journey, skip to the last paragraph of this section)
When I was 8 and first started blogging I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew I wanted to write book reviews. So, every week I would get out my pink notebook and write down the title of the book that I had been reading, underneath the title I would write some things about what the book was about and then that I enjoyed it. I don't think there was a single review where I honestly said that I didn't like the book. After spending a while writing out my post I would show it to my parents and they would edit and type it for me. I would look at pictures and then choose the best one to accompany my blog post. After I pressed publish I would print the post out and add it to a little folder I kept (mainly because I enjoyed using the hole-puncher).
I have come such a long way since then. At the start of 2015, Abi and I spent the summer writing blog post after blog post, and I tried the best I could to organise them into meaningful order. Over the first 6 months of 2015, while Abi and I battled our first year of high school, our blog ran itself.
I quickly learnt that didn't work very well, yes it was easy but it also took away the fun of blogging. I didn't get to write about what I was feeling each week, and I had no outlet. So, we began our current system, where we only write posts a week or so in advance (if at all).
This was a gradual change, and whilst I didn't realise it at the time it was a significant one. This kind of change isn't as scary and you feel in control. If we had the choice I am sure that we would all choose gradual change, after all it is the easiest to back out of.
Why are we afraid of change?
I have done some research and found a couple of reasons why people fear change, the first and most significant is because people are afraid of the unknown. We all like to be in control and know what is coming (or at least some people do). Change takes away this certainty, leaving us nothing but the assurance that things are not going to be the same again. Change leaves us in the dark, and we can't rely on past experiences to give us guidance.
Facing the change
The first step to being ok with change is accepting it is happening, resisting the change makes it harder to adjust to. Accepting and acknowledging that things are changing allows you to learn how to cope with it, and adjust your life around it.
Accepting change isn't easy, it is terrifying, but it is much better for you in the long run. If you have any tips for accepting change please leave them in the comments.
Personally, I don't adjust well to change. Even little things can through me right out. I don't like it and I will try to avoid it (I'm a change-dodger). But I am trying to learn that change isn't always bad. It can lead you to much better places and make you into a stronger and better person.
So, whilst change is scary to many of us, when faced with it we need to remember that it isn't always bad and it isn't the end of the world. Things that seem significant aren't always and change is not always something that needs to be avoided.
Thank you to Abigail from The Ups and Downs of My Not So Average Life for inspiring me to write this post.
Do you think change is scary? Do you do your best to avoid it? Do you have a tip for facing a tough change?
xxxPoppy
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