Monday to Saturday, my life is almost the same. My alarm goes off at 6:30. I ignore it. My dad wakes me up at 7. I stumble into the kitchen in a morning zombie-like state, and think about what to eat for breakfast. I am decidedly not a breakfast person, so this step of my morning takes up at least two-thirds of my time. After eating something, I get dressed into my netball dress or school uniform, which is scratchy, and go on a quest to find two white socks. Finding socks is harder than it sounds- maybe because of my definitive dislike for folding laundry, possibly because the puppy also likes stealing them or maybe even my because sister has all my socks. After getting dressed, I go to the bathroom, and brush my teeth (and hair... sometimes). Then comes the part which I used to hate the most, but now I don't mind that much. Washing my face. It's not the actual washing part that I once despised- but rather the end result. After scrubbing, my face has turns from its usual extremely pale shade to a reddish-pink blob. Everything looks 100 times worse after you wash your face (or at least after I wash mine). Every pimple, spot, imperfection shows, clear as day. I don't wear makeup, save for a little bit of concealer some days, and often I don't have time to do anything to my face. I hated looking at myself in the mirror because I hated what I saw. Now I know that the person in the mirror is the same person that exists in me all the time- not just when I feel beautiful. My friends will love me no matter what my face looks like, and so will my family. The bus driver couldn't care less if I had a breakout, and neither could my first-period Religious Ed teacher- because people are better than that. They see through what you think your flaws are. No decent person just looks at someone and immediately picks apart their appearance.
I wish I could turn back time to myself at 12, just starting high school, and let younger me know that people will be friends with you no matter what you look like, that people will be kind to you even if you have oily hair, that people will smile at you if you have acne, as long as you are kind. I don't love myself fully now, but I'm figuring it out. Something we all need to be reminded of is that beauty comes from within, as cliché as that sounds, and that everyone- especially teen girls, need to be told it's actually okay to like yourself.
- Abi
@laotong_blog
